Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a day to honor romance, love, and commitment. Yet, this holiday can bring out complex and sometimes painful feelings in some people, whether you are single or in a relationship. 

There’s no getting away from it. Retail stores, restaurants, television shows, and even the news will spend the weeks surrounding Valentine’s Day waxing poetic about the power of love. If you are considering a divorce – or have already filed for one – those emotions can quickly go from complicated to painful.

Although Valentine’s Day celebrates romantic love, February 14 can often signal the death knell of a relationship. According to a survey of attorneys, divorce filings jump by about 40 percent each year in mid-February. The number of inquiries about divorce directed at divorce attorneys jumped by about 36 percent during that same period. 

There are many reasons why this increase in divorce filings might occur. Some people may have been thinking about ending their marriage for a while but decided to wait until after the holidays to file the paperwork. Others may be waiting to see whether or not their partner rises to the occasion on Valentine’s Day – using the holiday to gauge whether their marriage can be saved. 

For those who have already filed for divorce, Valentine’s Day can be a painful reminder that their marriage was unsuccessful. Some may worry about being alone on February 14. Some may even worry that they’ll never find the right partner. With Cupid seemingly hiding behind every corner from Christmas until mid-February, it can be hard to get away from these types of thoughts.

Regardless of what kind of feelings Valentine’s Day evokes in you, it’s important not to let them overwhelm you. A little reframing, with a dash of self-care, can help you get through this day with your heart and mind intact.

• Feel Your Feelings. It’s completely natural to have conflicting emotions on a day that is meant to celebrate love, no matter your current relationship status. But don’t wallow in them. Talk to a trusted friend or family member, or maybe consult a therapist about how you feel. When you can openly talk about your feelings, you can better understand how to move forward. 
  
  
• Embrace Self Care. There’s no reason why Valentine’s Day has to be a celebration only for couples. You can use the day to find ways to take care of yourself. Grab a massage, or get your nails done. Buy yourself some flowers or a small gift to celebrate. 
  
  
• Reclaim the Holiday As Your Own. There’s no “right” way to spend Valentine’s Day. Forget the red roses and champagne. You can celebrate it any way you want to. Get together with a group of friends for a fun night out. Stay home with your children and watch funny movies. Or just treat February 14 as if it were any other day. It’s entirely up to you.

As You Considering Divorce?

As you reflect on the past year – and how you and your partner decided to spend Valentine’s Day – you may wonder if it is the right time to end your marriage. Divorce is difficult, no doubt: but it is often the right path to get you out of a bad situation and on to a brighter, more successful future. That said, it’s important to consider the following questions:

• Have you done everything you can to resolve your marital issues?
  
  Divorce is challenging, especially for families. If you’ve done everything you can to make your marriage work, it’s time to move on. 
  
  
  
• What is your financial situation?
  
  Divorce means separating your finances. If you are considering divorce, think about your budget and income sources. An attorney can help you determine what share of marital assets you can expect to receive.
  
  

• How can you shore up a support system?
  
  You are taking this step to divorce in order to move on to a happier future, but you may still have feelings of sadness at times. It helps to have a support system. When you can lean on family and friends, a therapist, or a support group, those feelings are much easier to process.
  
  

If you are considering divorce and want to work with a legal team that will help you secure a brighter future for yourself and your children, contact the Miller Law Group at (914) 685-9805. You can also schedule a confidential consultation with a member of our team. We can help you sort through these complicated feelings – and help you find a way to move forward.