Getting Out There! Do’s and Don’ts of an Online Dating Profile
With nearly 2,500 online dating sites in the US alone, online dating has gone from shy and lied about in real life—we met through friends!—to about as specific and niche as you can imagine. Interested in guys with beards? There’s a site for that. (Bristler.com)
There’s no question that online dating is enormously popular. Nearly 50 million have given it a shot. And one in five relationships begin online. And it’s interesting to note, too, that more men than women are on the sites. All this adds up to a pretty solid case for getting online when you’re ready to date post-divorce.
This week I spoke with Alyssa Dineen, founder of Style My Profile, a personal stylist service for divorcees. She works with them to feel better about how they look and then build a great online dating profile to help them confidently get back out into the dating world. This week I’ll be taking a look at her experience, perspective and advice. She works with clients to avoid the common pitfalls in getting back into the dating world.
Is This Normal? Yes.
The first hurdle many recent divorcees need to overcome when they start online dating is getting up to speed and navigating the dating apps. This is likely a very different landscape than the one where you met your ex. That’s ok. Treat it like anything else—expect a learning curve. And if that means setting the app aside for a while, then going back when you have the courage, that’s ok.
When it’s time to start creating a profile, there are some things you should think about.
Online Post-Divorce Dating Profiles Do’s
Use Multiple Good Photos.
Like it or not, online dating is a visual medium. When you use bad, blurry, dated photos you’re sending a message that says you don’t understand or don’t care about the norms of this kind of dating. That’s not exactly putting out the welcome mat for potential partners.
Think About: Your Unique Qualities
What passions, interests or hobbies do you have. Everyone (or almost everyone) likes the beach. What about the beach do you like? Is it a rainy day at the beach? A packed day of beach people-watching? If you can put your finger on the unique qualities you like about your interests, you share a part of yourself. You allow someone else to get to know you.
When you begin to organize your thoughts, you may start to see a narrative emerging. This helps the reader understand you. It’s a way to lead them in and make sense of who you are and why. It’ll help you make sense of your trajectory, too.
Online Post-Divorce Dating Profiles Don’ts
Use Someone Else’s Voice
Often when we’re uncomfortable, it bleeds into our writing. This especially true in online dating. Assuming a formal, or too informal tone can take the voice away from the writer. And you’ll never communicate the true you—or you may never get the chance.
Leave Out What Might be Interesting
Dineen mentions a client who left out the fact that she’d written a cookbook because she thought potential dates wouldn’t be interested in that. But she wrote a book because it was something she was passionate about. Leaving that out not only wasn’t really honest. It was removing a unique, interesting quality in the person.
You may also want to read: Post-Divorce Online Dating
How Can We Help?
If you’re considering divorce but would like to try an approach that might mean a brighter future, call our team to schedule a confidential consultation.